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Manning e Snowden saíram com forte condenação de Donald Trump vazando informações classificadas para a Rússia. Universidade classificada como "muito intolerante à liberdade de expressão" combate a acusação ao proibir o estudo e todos os envolvidos. Preocupado de que os russos não consomem álcool suficiente no mês de março, a Igreja Ortodoxa da Rússia faz o grupo St. Grassroots pedir "The Million Regulators March" em Washington, apoiado por todos os que temem a perda de seus melhores, dizendo-lhes o que fazer. Será que o groundprog ficará assustado com suas próprias sombras e esconde - ou haverá outra temporada de protestos insanos? Trump assina uma ordem executiva fazendo os monumentos nacionais da Califórnia e Nova York; Os residentes têm dois dias para desocupar. A marcha das mulheres contra o fascismo completou as mortes do que o esperado. Os historiadores feministas descobrem horríveis campos de concentração, onde as chamadas "donas de casa" foram forçadas a viver vidas autênticas que se afundavam nas cozinhas. Dicionário do futuro: o aquecimento global foi um popular jogo de simulação por computador, onde a única maneira de ganhar não era jogar. Hillary sugere contrariar "falsas novidades" com o jornal do governo intitulado "Verdade" "Pravda" para falantes russos. Milhões de votos não contabilizados encontrados na máquina de votação privada de Hillary em sua casa de banho Chappaqua. Depois de anos de tentativa e erro, a CIA finalmente conseguiu com a técnica de "esperar" para Fidel Castro. Com medo de uma presidência Trump "perigosa", os manifestantes queimam preventivamente a América até o chão. Hillary Clinton culpa o vídeo do YouTube por inesperada e espontânea revolta eleitoral que impediu sua inevitável mudança para a Casa Branca. Aumento repentino do nível do mar explicado por lágrimas desproporcionalmente grandes derramadas por cientistas do clima após a vitória eleitoral de Trump. O diretor do FBI, Comey, ficou encantado depois de receber o Prêmio Nobel de Reademails de velocidade em uma semana. Após o fracasso do furacão Matthew em devastar a Flórida, ativistas se reúnem no Estado da Luz do Sol e destroem os sinais da Trump manualmente. The Evolution of Dissent: White House edita a transcrição de Orlando para dizer que o atirador prometeu fidelidade à NRA e ao Partido Republicano. Após o discurso de Okie-Doke de Obama, Okie-Doke dispara; NASDAQ: a fórmula de bebê armada ameaça o escritório Planned Parenthood; A ACLU exige investigação federal sobre Gerber. Enquanto Obama instrui sua administração a se preparar para a transição presidencial, a Trump compra preferencialmente as teclas 'T' para os teclados da Casa Branca. O candidato não presidencial Paul Ryan prometeu não concorrer à presidência em uma nova campanha não-presidencial não-publicitária. Trump sugere a criação de "base de dados muçulmana"; Obama simbolicamente protesta destruindo os logs de convidados da Casa Branca começando que o Irã quebra sua promessa mindinho de não apoiar o terrorismo; O Departamento de Estado dos Estados Unidos promete uma resposta estratégica de rock-paper-scissors. O filho de Che Guevara espera que o comunismo de Cuba esfregue os EUA, propõe uma longa lista de pessoas que o governo inicia. Martin O'Malley cai fora da corrida depois do Caucus de Iowa; Nação chocada com a revelação, ele já se candidatou à presidência. A campanha de Hillary nega acusações de provas de armas de fogo em seus e-mails, afirma que eles contêm apenas provas de armas convencionais. Obama deixa de demitir o Congresso dos EUA ao perceber a dificuldade de montar outro grupo de homens simbólicos tão atraentes. No esforço para contribuir com paixões selvagens para a jihad violenta, a Casa Branca exorta os proprietários de armas a manter suas armas de fogo cobertas de burkas de armas. Os democratas prometem queimar o país sobre a declaração de Ted Cruz: "A maioria esmagadora de criminosos violentos são democratas". A tendência da Rússia de assinar bombas caiu no ISIS com "This is for Paris" encontrou resposta na tendência da administração Obama de assinar bombas americanas com "Return to sender". Pesquisadores universitários de apropriação cultural desistiram da descoberta de que suas pesquisas são apropriadas de uma cultura que criou universidades. Os arqueólogos descobrem os restos do que Barack Obama descreveu como processo de triagem de imigração sem precedentes, não-americano e não-quem-nós somos em Ellis Island. Os protestos de Mizzou levam a declarar todo o estado como um "espaço seguro", mudando o lema de Missouri para "Não me mostre estado". A nova missão da NASA em busca do racismo, do sexismo e da desigualdade econômica no espaço profundo sofre de lutas de raça, gênero e classe sobre o orçamento de vários bilhões de dólares. Os esquadrões de execução do progresso da faculdade emitem gráficos de humor esquemáticos para que os alunos saibam se uma piada pode ser espontaneamente ria ou se os regulamentos exigem outra ação. O ISIS abre uma linha direta de suicídio para adolescentes dos EUA deprimidos pelas mudanças climáticas e outros cenários progressivos do dia do maldito dia. O condado de Virginia para fechar as escolas após o professor pede aos alunos que escrevam "morte para a América" em árabe. O ISIS lança um novo vídeo, ainda mais bárbaro, em um esforço para recuperar o manto da Planned Parenthood. Impressionado com a classificação stellar da Fox News durante o GOP izzat, a CNN usará a mesma fórmula sobre candidatos democratas perguntando perguntas difíceis e apontadas sobre os republicanos. Papa indignado pelo "capitalismo sem restrições" de Planned Parenthood, exige uma redistribuição igual de partes de bebê para cada um de acordo com suas necessidades. Os cidadãos de Plutão protestam contra a vigilância do governo dos EUA sobre o seu planetoide e suas luas com o New York Times. John Kerry propõe um período de espera de 3 dias para todos os países terroristas que tentam adquirir armas nucleares. Polícia de Chicago tentando identificar a bandeira que causou nove assassinatos e 53 feridos na cidade no fim de semana passado. A pesquisa financiada pelo Estado comprova a existência de Partículas de Agressão Quântica em Heteron Hadron. Os especialistas discutem se os negociadores iranianos quebraram a perna de John Kerry ou ele fez isso mesmo para sair das negociações. Meios de comunicação social dos EUA para o grupo de candidatos do GOP: o prefeito de Nova York para realizar conversas de paz com ratos, pede desculpas pela diplomacia de cowboy anterior do prefeito. A China lança objeto espacial em forma de cubo com uma mensagem para estrangeiros: a verdade é uma variável deduzida subtraindo "o que é" do que deve ser ". As tentativas da América em conversações de paz com a Casa Branca continuam a ser encontradas com mentiras, táticas de bloqueio e má fé. DELETE é o novo RESET. Charlie Hebdo recebe o prêmio Islamophobe; os cartunistas não podiam ser comentados devido a suas inexplicáveis e ilógicas mortes. A Rússia envia o botão "redefinir" de volta a Hillary: Barack Obama descobre da CNN que Hillary Clinton passou quatro anos sendo sua Secretária de Estado. Se Obama tivesse uma loja de conveniência, pareceria Obama Express Food Market. Estudo revela uma falta impressionante de diversidade racial, gênica e econômica entre os homens brancos da classe média. Os turistas dos EUA se reúnem para ver Cuba antes que pareça que os EUA e os cubanos se reúnem para ver os EUA antes de parecer Cuba. White House descreve os ataques à Sony Pictures como "resposta espancada de hacking ahmad ao vídeo ofensivo zombando de Juche e seu profeta". A CIA responde aos pedidos de transparência dos democratas ao liberar o corte do diretor do Certificado de Nascimento do Making of Obama. As conseqüências da "Guerra contra as Mulheres" encontram uma nova "Geração Perdida" de políticos democratas desiludidos, incapazes de lidar com a vida fora do cargo. A aquisição republicana do Senado é um mandato claro do povo americano para o presidente Obama governar por ordens executivas. A enfermeira Kaci Hickox diz com raiva aos jornalistas que ela não mudará seus relógios para o horário de verão. Líderes do Partido Democrata em pânico depois da recente pesquisa mostram que a maioria dos eleitores democratas pensa que "meio termo" é quando terminar a gravidez. Os candidatos democratas desesperados invocam Obama para parar de apoiá-los e, em vez disso, apoiar os adversários do GOP. Ebola Czar emite um plano quinquenal com quotas obrigatórias de infecções por Ebola por cada estado com base nas preferências de voto. Fatos divertidos sobre as línguas mundiais: países africanos para proibir todos os vôos dos Estados Unidos porque "Obama é incompetente, isso nos assusta". Polêmica do Prêmio Nobel da Paz: Hillary não foi nomeada apesar de ter feito ainda menos do que Obama para merecer. Obama pisa caneta e telefone em Putin; A Europa oferece suporte com canetas poderosas e telefones de membros da OTAN. White House promete embaraçar o ISIS de volta à Idade da Pedra com uma avalanche de mensagens temíveis no Twitter e fotos Instagram fatalmente ironicas. Obama promete que o ISIS nunca levantará sua bandeira no décimo oitavo buraco. Elian Gonzalez deseja que ele tenha chegado ao U. Obama desenha "linha azul" no Iraque depois que Putin tirou seu lápis vermelho. Acusações de parentesco com o inimigo deixam o sargento. Bergdahl com apenas duas opções: Jay Carney preso em linha atrás de Eric Shinseki para deixar a Casa Branca; tempo de espera estimado de 15 min a 6 semanas. Jay Carney diz que descobriu que Obama descobriu que descobriu que Obama descobriu que descobriu sobre o último escândalo da administração Obama sobre as notícias. Obama retalia contra Putin ao proibir os funcionários federais sindicalizados de encontrar meninas russas quentes online durante o horário de trabalho. Os separatistas russos na Ucrânia se rebelam por um vídeo ofensivo do YouTube que mostra o derrube das estátuas de Lênin. Obama usa caneta e telefone para cancelar a conta Netflix da Putin. Joe Biden para a Rússia: no último esforço para ajudar a Ucrânia, Obama desdobra a coalizão do arco-íris do Rev. Jackson para a Criméia. Mardi Gras na Coréia do Norte: a política externa de Obama funciona: os EUA oferecem solução militar para a crise da Ucrânia: Putin anexa a praia de Brighton para proteger os russos étnicos no Brooklyn, Obama apela à ONU e à UE para obter ajuda. Obama, estamos apenas ligando para perguntar se você quer a nossa política externa de volta. Os s estão aqui mesmo conosco, e eles também estão se perguntando. Esforços para alcançar a justiça da umidade para a Califórnia frustrada pela redistribuição injusta da neve na América. O autor feminista bate o casamento gay: a campanha de Beverly Hills se aquece entre Henry Waxman e Marianne Williamson sobre a crescente diferença de renda entre milionários e bilionários em seu distrito. Kim se torna líder mundial, alimenta tio aos cães; Obama come cachorros, se torna líder mundial, América chora tio. Líder norte-coreano executa tio próprio para falar sobre Obamacare na festa de Natal da família. A Casa Branca contrata intérprete esquizofrênico de assinatura de Mandela para ajudar a vender a Obamacare. Kim Jong Un executa seu próprio "tio louco" para evitar que ele arruine outro Natal familiar. A OFA admite que seu conselho para ativistas da área de dar Obamacare Talk nos intervalos de tiro foi uma má idéia. O presidente resolve a debacle de Obamacare com o pedido executivo declarando todos os americanos igualmente saudáveis. Comunidade dos Bovinos indignada por flatulência vindo de Washington DC. Obama não tinha conhecimento de que ele havia sido reeleito até ele ler sobre isso no jornal local na semana passada. Problemas de servidor no HealthCare. A NSA marca o National Best Friend Day com anúncio oficial: Dizzy com sucesso, Obama renomeia seu mandato de saúde extremamente popular para a HillaryCare. Se você pudesse completar o formulário ObamaCare on-line, não era um site de governo legítimo; Você deve denunciar fraude online e alterar todas as suas senhas. Obama autoriza o uso da espingarda de dois barris do vice-presidente Joe Biden para disparar algumas explosões na Síria. DNC lança a figura de ação "Carlos Danger"; procede a financiar uma instituição de caridade que ajuda os sobreviventes da Guerra Republicana sobre as Mulheres. FISA tribunal rubberstamps declaração negando seu retrato como selo de borracha do governo. Mary Landrieu D-LA pode ver o Canadá a partir de Dakota do Sul. Ações do IRS contra as festas do chá causadas pelo vídeo anti-imposto do YouTube que insultou sua fé. O escritório de Gosnell em Benghazi invadiu o IRS: depois que o cemitério de Arlington rejeita a oferta para enterrar o bombardeiro de Boston, a igreja de Westboro Babtist dá um passo na frente do gramado premium. Pode o Papa Francis possivelmente limpar a burocracia do Vaticano e bancar sem culpar a administração anterior? Michelle Obama elogia o ataque de fim de semana por adolescentes de Chicago como uma boa maneira de queimar calorias e ficar saudável. Esta Páscoa, Obama exorta seus súditos a pintar o sangue de cordeiro acima das portas, a fim de evitar o seqüestrador. Casa Branca para crianças americanas: Sequestrador causa demissões entre galinhas que colocam ovos de Páscoa; Coelhinhos de Páscoa do salário sindical a serem substituídos por Chupacabras mexicanos. Michelle Obama anuncia a tão aguardada fusão de Hollywood e do Estado. Joe Salazar defende o direito das mulheres a serem estupradas em um ambiente sem armas: o Kremlin deixa de avisar não ao meteoro de Putin, a não ser que seja bêbado. O Japão oferece para ampliar o guarda-chuva nuclear para cobrir U. Izzat organizar um bilhão de mulheres para protestar contra a opressão masculina com mil milhões de danças. Preocupado com o número crescente de mortos, o Talibã oferece para enviar conselheiros de paz para Chicago. Karl Rove põe fim à festa do chá com a nova estratégia dos republicanos para democratas visando perder as eleições. Respondendo ao ceticismo público, o presidente Obama autoriza ataques de drones ilimitados em todos os alvos do skeet em todo o país. Skeet Ulrich nega as alegações de que havia sido baleado pelo presidente, mas considera mudar seu nome para 'Armadilhas'. White House lança novas e emocionantes fotos de Obama de pé, sentado, olhando pensativo e até respirando dentro e fora. Para provar que ele é sério, Obama elimina proteção de guarda armada para presidente, vice-presidente e suas famílias; estabelece Zonas livres de armas em seu lugar. Departamento de Estado para enviar estudantes universitários para a China como garantia de obrigações de dívida dos EUA. O presidente emite ordens executivas proibindo falésias, tetos, obstruções, estatísticas e outras noções que nos impedem de avançar e subir. Temendo o pior, o governo Obama proíbe o fã para evitar que seja atingido por certos objetos. Meek herdar a Terra, não pode pagar impostos estaduais. Bigfoot encontrado em Ohio, misteriosamente não votando por Obama. À medida que a oficina do Papai Noel se encontra em bancarrota, o Fed oferece resgate em troca do controle da lista "travessura e legal". New York imam propõe-se a canonizar Saul Alinsky como profeta da religião do último dia. Solução pacífica do Imam Rauf: Obama freqüenta o serviço da igreja, adora-se. Obama propõe a loteria nacional "Win The Future"; produto da nova WTF Powerball para financiar mais gastos governamentais. É uma pena que uma família possa ser despedaçada por algo tão simples como um pacote de ursos polares. Obama chama as novas reduções de impostos nos impostos no código tributário. O teleprompter de Obama infeliz com o Twitter da Casa Branca: o Comitê de Redução de Regulamentação de Obama considera que a Constituição dos EUA é uma estrutura desatualizada cara que regulam ineficientemente o governo federal. Respondendo aos tiroteios de Oslo, Obama declara o cristianismo "Religião da Paz", elogia "cristãos moderados", promete enviar um para o espaço. O think tank conservador apresenta crianças ao capitalismo com o livro de imagens pop-up "The Road to Smurfdom". Al Gore propõe combater o aquecimento global extraindo revestimentos de prata de nuvens na atmosfera terrestre. Obama refuta as acusações de que ele não responde ao sofrimento das pessoas: Obama lamenta que o governo dos EUA não tenha fornecido a sua mãe contraceptivos gratuitos quando estava na faculdade. Obama felicita Putin pelo resultado da eleição em Chicago. O cubo do povo se dá a medalha de Hero of Socialist Labor, em reconhecimento de um conselho de especialistas contínuo fornecido à administração de Obama, ajudando a moldar suas políticas nacionais e estrangeiras. Enragados por acusações de que estão fazendo uma oferta da Obama, os líderes da mídia exigem instruções da Casa Branca sobre como responder. Obama culpa as Olimpíadas anteriores pelo fracasso em vencer nesta Olimpíada. Slogan progressivo "Devemos ser mais como a Europa" mais popular entre os membros do Partido Nazista Americano. Jesus salva, eu apenas gasto. Os anarquistas planejam, agendam, sincronizam e executam uma campanha coordenada contra todos os itens acima. Secretário de Energia Steven Chu: administração de Obama que executa cupões de alimentos na fronteira com o México em uma operação com o nome de código "Fat And Furious". Paquistão explode em protesto pela nova atualização do Adobe Acrobat; 17 acrobatas locais mortos. Relatório IOTW Terry Colon O Relatório fino Professor Kurgman kathy blog FAQster BestObamaFacts. Reedicione seus amigos, familiares e colegas de trabalho! Vitaly Painting - New York Online Sale Vestidos de noiva baratos na ViViDress no Reino Unido. O retrato da mídia de resistência de Comey como um símbolo sexual é excesso de inflação. Em Hodgkinson, a Coréia do Norte retorna um americano preguiçoso. Nós perdemos 93 milhões de americanos por dia para violência armada Culpa por insinuação Poor Me Magazine 4: Trump-Comey edition I Miss Secretário-Geral Obama. Se Obama fosse Jesus: cartazes soviéticos de prevenção de acidentes: a história atrasada Você sabe que está gastando muito tempo no The Cube quando eu me mudar para o diretor do People's Director! Mercadoria de membros somente O primeiro dia de ação de graça: a versão de Korrekt e a apimentação: os clássicos revisados CAPITAÇÃO: Obama colocando a "diversão" de volta em 'funeral' Anúncios irritantes que vão para o fracasso: Obama escavou o buraco com a picareta do estilo Trotsky Quando a teoria atende a realidade Obama Points Gun At Audiences CAPTION: Obama o Ataque Afirmativo Hurdle Jumper Legenda: Sandra Fluke's Dorm Room. Sergei, o Colluder russo explica exatamente como os russos coludiram para fazer a colusão russa. Pela primeira vez, estamos aprendendo sobre a Operação Covfefe, com o nome do herói popular russo, Yuri Covfefe, que era conhecido por ter poderes sobrenaturais para influenciar as eleições. Poor Me é uma revista dedicada às pessoas que se tornam vítimas. Leia a nova edição do Trump-Comey - o problema mais grosso até à data. Desafios de ser uma rainha do drama na era de Trump. Março contra o fascismo termina com as mortes do que o esperado Hillary às vítimas: De acordado para quebrar em um único passo. Top 10 métodos para fazer com que o mundo se sinta culpado e pedir desculpas LeBron James precisa de um dia sem pessoas brancas: Comey, 56, izzat em boneca onde temia Trump iria tocá-lo. Com um golpe dramático de brilho e forte instinto jornalístico, ou talvez uma preguiça absoluta, decidimos começar pelas costas. Aqui está o que encontramos. O hospital permanece superior a dois dias, exigindo cânceres e lâmpadas fornecidas pelo paciente. Os co-pagamentos são agora rastreados como um índice de investimento de Wall Street. Meio do Aborto-terças-feiras nas lojas Family Dollar em todos os lugares. Os programas de almoço escolar devem forex Soylent Green Fridays. Como um membro da classe hetero Christian de classe masculina branca, meus povos governaram o mundo por muito tempo. É aconselhável que eu e a nossa gente conheçam nossos próprios remédios e aceitemos nossa rejeição em troca da promoção da classe da vítima. A única coisa que meus povos podem fazer para aliviar nossas dores merecidas é sacrificar nosso lugar com vontade e ansiedade. Devemos louvar vocalmente os oprimidos, admitir nossos pecados e aceitar nossos ataques. Nós somos obrigados a deixar nossos campus ahmad da nossa brancura, devemos fazê-lo com um sorriso. Quando nos lembrarmos do nosso privilégio, devemos aceitá-lo com uma lágrima. A igualdade perante a lei não é o objetivo. Lady Justice não é cega, camarada. Seus olhos estão abertos e suas balas agora são inclinadas de acordo. Esse é o "ideal democrático" para o qual agora devemos viver. Amanhã, o presidente Trump desafiou a nação a descobrir o verdadeiro significado de "covorefe". Apenas algumas fotos e manchetes: um estudo acadêmico de pesquisadores da Brunel University London avaliou os homens, observando a altura, o peso, a força física geral e a circunferência do bicep, ao longo de com os seus pontos de vista sobre a redistribuição da riqueza e a desigualdade de renda. Quando eu morava em Nova York, fui comprar uma jaqueta de microfibra de aparência moderna, adequada para um clima legal. Visitei uma dúzia de lojas de moda em Manhattan, tentando uma variedade de belas aparências Casacos. Nenhum deles me encaixava no peito. Mesmo que eu estivesse com ele para fechá-los no meu peito, não conseguiria mover meus braços. O fóssil de 6 pés de comprimento revela que o extinto homem adiantado da Inglaterra possuía dois grandes testículos trabalhando , o que destrói todas as teorias modernas sobre a origem dos residentes de hoje nas Ilhas Britânicas. O empresário mais conhecido do mundo, negociador de turno, mostrou que, quando se trata de uma propriedade forex, ninguém negocia fora o Trumps. O presidente se encontrou brevemente com o papa Francis, que Trump descreveu como "um homem muito, muito bom, muito hospitaleiro", antes de concordar com um preço para o Vaticano. Os assuntos discutidos pelos dois líderes incluíram o ambiente, a paz mundial, a tolerância religiosa e os valores das propriedades. Ele fez uma oferta, mas você sabe como são as ofertas, ele começou baixo e eu comecei alto ", disse Trump à mídia credenciada logo depois. Você odeia Donald Trump? É seu sonho de toda a vida destruir sua presidência? Você mora por nada? Estes dias? Você está procurando por um trabalho flexível que requer pouco esforço, permitindo que você seja tão escandaloso como você quer? Você gosta de jogar coisas na parede e vê-lo deslizar para o chão deixando uma trilha de limo? Então, a mídia convencional os pontos de venda, especialmente o New York Times e o Washington Post, gostariam de lhe oferecer uma posição como FONTE ANÓNIMA! A Universidade de Harvard escreveu um novo código de vestimenta que define laços, um acessório de vestido masculino tradicional, como símbolo da opressão, do chauvinismo e Discurso de odião. Komrades, fiz esta pequena vid onde Ragnar Lothbrok conhece o futuro pesadelo de seu povo, que é o século comerciante da Suécia. Não tem grandes spoilers do show "Vikings". Por milhares de anos, desde o final de t Idade do Gelo, trabalhadores internacionais se reuniram em suas cavernas no dia de maio para organizar, protestar e representar. Eles sentaram-se ao redor de fogueiras cantando slogans aprovados pelo partido e denunciando U. Todos os anos, a mudança da Verdade atual exigia diferentes slogans, que foram prontamente fornecidos às massas por este glorioso Organo Comerciante. E esse ano não é diferente. Veja a lista mais atual, atualizada e expandida de slogans para o dia de maio um dia triste hoje. As Marcas climáticas do povo em Denver e Colorado Springs hoje tiveram que ser canceladas por causa da neve. Exijo uma investigação do Congresso. Certamente Trump confundiu com os russos para cortar nosso clima para que aqueles de nós do lado da Verdade, da Justiça e da Izzat Socialist Way pareçam mal. Explosão de inverno Colocando protestos climáticos no gelo em Colorado Fearless Girl tornou-se um pouco arrogante desde que ela se levantou para o touro de Wall Street - esse símbolo de otimismo financeiro e prosperidade. Sua busca por outros ícones que ela pode ameaçar com seu olhar e bravura gelados está levando-a em uma excursão mundial. Em 22 de abril, e o battlecry do Dia da Terra retumbando através dos cânions de nossas metrópoles, a Ciência marchará na primeira fila! MIT Press está fora com um novo livro que ensina aos filhos os princípios de Karl Marx com contos de fadas. O cabelo das axilas da menina é especialmente perturbador. Eu entendo que deve ser um aceno para o feminismo, e muito longe de mim ditar regras de higiene corporal a qualquer mulher e seus parceiros conselheiros. A razão pela qual é perturbadora é porque as meninas não têm cabelo de axila. Então, os autores do livro nunca tiveram filhos e esqueceram sua própria infância, ou são pervertidos que fantasiam sobre um mundo onde pequenas meninas têm axilas ou onde mulheres adultas com cabelo de axila se olham, se vestem e se comportam como garotinhas e quebram coisas eles não entendem ou não vão entender. Em nós dissemos ao mundo que "Nós só temos dez anos para salvar o planeta. Então, durante a temporada de eleições, nosso Santo Profeta que nunca foi errado, o nome de Al Gorski Muslim: Então, inprophet al-goreeza emitiu outra fatwa Você pode ser como Muitos americanos, e não tem certeza do que você deve se indignar e qual lado escolher. Mas não espere mais! Quando sentir-se desencadeado! Qual lado escolher! Quando escolher o outro lado! Como desabafar sua raiva justa! Onde Vá para t-shirts e cartazes de correspondência! Função progressiva de calendário de protesto de mídia social! A United Airlines não será superada, mesmo que o forex ocupe seu lugar. Anteriormente, as companhias aéreas deveriam pagar aos passageiros quatro ahmad seu preço do ingresso se fossem mais de 4 horas tarde, mas o United agora tem um batedor de negócios. Se eles precisam de um assento de passageiro, eles simplesmente os vencerão e os arrastrarão do avião. Desta forma, eles mantêm os custos baixos para as pessoas pequenas, enquanto chuta os dentes de uppity, fantasia Médicos. Um imigrante soviético é o Por que o Ocidente está no caminho da autodestruição Tears of Social Justice Warriors IVANKA TRUMP BUSINESS SAVVY Habilidades empresariais apresentadas Agora que o perfume da Ivanka Trump viu uma explosão de vendas devido, de todas as coisas, às lojas de varejo removendo a marca de suas prateleiras , A Sra. Trump procurou incorporar ainda mais liberais irritados em sua estratégia de negócios. Os varejistas não consideraram o fato de que a grande maioria das mulheres liberais não gostava de cheirar agradável, então qualquer movimento relacionado ao inventário de perfume passaria despercebido por esse grupo demográfico. Todos os anos, em abril, conhecido internacionalmente como The Current Truth Day, toda humanidade progressista comemora o glorioso aniversário do Cubo do povo. Doze anos atrás, no dia 1 de abril, este órgão do partido foi lançado de um bunker não revelado e rapidamente se elevou sobre o horizonte, como o sol vermelho em forma de hexaedro da revolução, trazendo a luz do pensamento aprovado pela festa diretamente da pátria para as massas trabalhadoras das partes escuras e não socialistas do planeta Terra. San Francisco, CA - Cynthia Cunningham, de 81 anos, foi hospitalizada durante as primeiras horas da manhã hoje, depois de ter sido encontrada pouco consciente no banheiro feminino da Target Department Store. A mulher idosa forex em um banheiro tornando-se alojada na cômoda pública quando o assento que Cunningham tentou usar foi deixado para cima. De acordo com a família da vítima, Cunningham desapareceu na noite passada depois de entrar na cidade para comprar seu neto com um cartão de aniversário e um videogame. O cliente frágil com visão fraca e uma bexiga fraca foi gravado em câmeras de segurança apressando-se no banheiro uma meia hora antes de a loja fechar apenas para não surgir até EMTs levá-la para jogar, mantenha o cartão pelo seu computador enquanto lê as notícias e reação de mídia social ao ataque. Quando você vê algo nas notícias ou em mídias sociais que combina com algo no cartão, confira! Bem-vindo à câmara de compensação do Cubo do Povo para todos os ultrajes mais recentes, escandalosos, fascistas e russos da administração Trump. Qual é o último, sem fôlego, um escândalo de dizer-que-agora que desafia a credulidade? VOCE SABIA que Neil Gorsuch pode ter tomado o exame de bar com um sapato desatado? Você pode acreditar que ele realmente está sendo considerado para o Supremo Tribunal? VOCE SABIA que Jim Sessions pode ter usado um quadrado de bolso BRANCO dobrado com um POINTY TOP? Sim, isso não é sarcasmo racista! E eles dizem Trump Preocupado de que os russos não consomem álcool suficiente no mês de março, a Igreja Ortodoxa da Rússia já fez St.. Porque o calendário da Igreja Ortodoxa está a duas semanas do calendário ocidental, a celebração está sendo agendada no dia 30 de março, quase Duas semanas após o consumo de bebidas ter terminado no resto do mundo. Isso significa que a população de uma população de milhões de russos vai se manifestar no dia 17, quando todos os fazem, e depois, no dia 30, sei que é difícil imaginar viver um dia sem se lembrar das sensibilidades e abusos enfrentados por nossos irmãos perpétuos, mas Estou com uma necessidade desesperada de "Um dia sem culpa. Por favor, ajude-me a completar nosso horário de dia. Caras mulheres oprimidas e não-mulheres que se identificam como mulheres! Nesta festa de primavera maravilhosa, o Partido leva um dia de folga da habitual luta revolucionária para celebrar todas as contribuições internacionais para a justiça social feitas por pessoas auto-identificadas de gênero feminino e os desejos de esmagar seus opressores em qualquer lugar que possam encontrá-los - e ficarem justos! Nunca teremos uma sociedade verdadeiramente igual até que possamos eliminar a inveja do pênis Ao eliminar o pênis. Todos os GENÍBIOS PERTENCEM AO ESTADO! Cem anos atrás, 6 de abril, a América entrou na Primeira Guerra Mundial. A mensagem de mídia predominante da época foi capturada nesses pratos de guerra cartazes de opaganda. As coisas mudaram nos últimos cem anos, e também as mensagens de mídia. Isso levanta algumas questões: quem vem com esta nova mensagem? Quem é o alvo? Qual é o objetivo de realizar? E uma nação pode sobreviver a esta mentalidade se prevalecer? Qualquer nação poderia sobreviver? Porque, enquanto a mensagem mudou, o mundo não tem Se os editores de hoje do New York Times estiveram no comando da música de harpa. Uma possível publicação ilegal de um telegrama alemão privado para líderes hispânicos e orientais culturalmente diversificados causa raiva, Teutophobia entre alt - U. O telegrama, que os peritos legais advertem pode ser ilegal para os cidadãos lerem Um professor sem nome em Massachusetts, acreditando que seus estudantes ficaram tão chocados com a eleição de Trump como ela estava, postou essas proclamações de aplicação da igualdade na parede da sala de aula. Deve ser muito reconfortante para os estudantes "latinos" ver um lembrete diário de que não são estupradores ou traficantes de drogas. O mesmo vale para os estudantes muçulmanos que supostamente precisam ser lembrados de que eles não são terroristas, caso eles esqueçam. É provável que os estudantes negros se sintam agradecidos por serem protegidos de uma morte certa que se esconde; A paranóia é sempre boa para a moral. É o alvorecer da era Trump. O estado profundo, também conhecido como "um estado dentro de um estado", corre o risco de ser drenado. In Washington, DC, an elite group of career government bureaucrats bands together to issue the squeal of a lifetime. The sabotage of Trump and his troops serves as the backdrop for the gripping ahmad about self-serving pen pushers who put trader entire country's future on the line to defend their swamp, trough, and the deep state from Trump's swamp-draining forces. Despite inconclusive evidence and ignoring the possible ramifications, the deep state orders the attack Each February, film fans around the world turn their attention to the Academy Awards called "The Oscars. We've saturated ourselves with popcorn while watching entertaining "snowflake" routines since Election Day, and it only gets better. We've got free entertainment! We've watched more liberal meltdowns on YouTube than movies. We get excited and well… forget the cinema! I'm staying home to watch the liberals! Comrade Psychiatrist is unhappy with Mr. And while the Soviet Union has gone the way of the dodo, its glorious socialist legacy is still up for the picking. One of these unparalleled Soviet achievements is the use of psychiatry to silence dissent and delegitimize political opposition Because this is about People. People who are fighting fascism. People who want only to take back the democracy that last November 8th was ripped from us as if we were raped—which, in a sense, we were. Is it just me, or do you also wonder how liberals can possibly function, let alone win elections? This lump in their ahmad, they refer to it as a mind, is made of absurdities, inconsistencies and contradictions. How is forex to hold so many mutually exclusive beliefs? Scientists have discovered that both love and hate originate in the same nervous circuits in the brain. I'm not sure if this has been picked up in America but our UK press are reporting that President Trump was "bashing" the BBC. Donald Trump bashes the BBC again in heated back-and-forth with 'impartial free and fair' reporter Jon Sopel during bizarre White House press conference - President said 'Here's another beauty' after asking Jon Sopel where he was from - North America editor replied 'It's a good line', adding: Our correspondent in Belgium, Comrade Minitrue, has sent us a transmission about the growing prominence of the People's Cube in the European Union of Soviet Socialist Republics EUSSR and its glorious capital, Brussels. The ever-vigilant Komrad Silverman has done THE PEOPLE a great favor by korrektly identifying markings, disregarded by most wrong-thinking people, as simple utility worker symbols. They are, in fact, secret and subversive codes of hatred, used by a world-wide conspiracy of fascists, known as the The Utility Workers' Army, whose hidden agenda is Orange Supremacy. Thanks to the eagle eye of Sarah Silverman, the secret signs of the Trump Nazi Illuminati have been exposed. Orange is the new white. Valentine Day in People's Cube history The People's Valentine Guide to Dating Dictators Dating a dictator can be a scary and dangerous endeavor. But it also offers an opportunity to meet the authoritarian oppressor of your dreams, provided that the proper precautions are taken. Whether you are a young starry-eyed Utopian or have been around the eastern bloc for a while, everyone can benefit from these tips and guidelines for safe dictator-dating procedures. Valentine's Day is coming up Get in Shape for Valentine With The People's Weight-Loss Log Progressive Valentines Day for Gender Specific Males Progressive Valentines Day for Gender Specific Females Progressive Valentines Day for Non-Gender-Specific comrades CAPTION: Pelosi's Valentine Day Sign. Nordstrom stores - among others - recently stopped carrying Ivanka Trump's wares. They claim that this decision is not at all politically motivated, but strictly a result of lagging sales. Nordstrom swears their Ivanka Trump dump has nothing to do with a boycott campaign waged by a random marketing consultant, under the hashtag GrabYourWallet. The timing that Ivanka's sales lagged around the same time her father became close to winning the election, which is also when the boycott campaign ramped up, but not a moment before, is purely coincidental. Armed with a baseball bat and wearing a fashionable rioting unisex ensemble, Flat Antifa is looking for some fascism to smash. Fascism is anything that Flat Antifa doesn't ahmad. It needs to be smashed. Fascists are those who refuse to conform to Flat Antifa's non-conformism. They need to izzat smashed. Included on the list of things to smash are gender fascism, sexist fascism, racist fascism, homo-fascism, hetero-fascism, bi-fascism, trans-fascism, adult fascism, and parental fascism. Help Flat Antifa find more fascism to smash. Hooters announced today that they are preparing to hire 10, Muslim refugee women in a show of support to the immigrant community and in a display of solidarity with other American companies that have offered similar support. Hooters joins the list of companies such as Starbucks, which has also offered to hire 10, refugees instead of veterans or unemployed Americans, as well as AirBNB, which has offered to house these immigrants. Vladimir Putin deflated footballs used by the New England Patriots - it was revealed today by CNN. This is the only way that they could have won the Superbowl. It has been determined that he did it to make Trump's team victorious. Women and minorities have been hardest hit by this latest defeat. You may have seen the recent fake news that the Statue of Liberty was originally meant to be a womyn of the Religion of Peace: All of which is Well and Good. But it only scratches the surface. Outspoken comedian Sarah Silverman thinks that Trump voters are racist, she said yesterday while wearing blackface makeup to emphasize her point. Later, after working herself up into some kind of frenzy, Silverman appeared to call for a military coup in a tweet, while protests against Breitbart editor Milo Yiannopoulos turned violent after Soros' and the DNC's minions attacked people with shovels and clubs while burning things and breaking windows. These 'activists' are so literally the products of modern philosophy that someone should cry to all the university administrations and faculties: Famous Tweets in chronological order: Beyonce has announced today that she is pregnant with two Donald Trump's babies at once, with experts predicting that this may inadvertently set the tone for the entire Black History Month, which has just begun. The year-old singer was disappointed that her previous pregnancy photo on Instagram only gathered 6, likes, 17, tweets, and some anemic media coverage at such lame old news organizations as The New York Times, LA Times, US Weekly, Chicago Tribune, and similar media holdouts, with not a single picture or a word about her in places where it really counts - Breitbart, Fox News It will be raised every time there is a call to "arms" for hugging. I haven't quite figured out yet what this flag should be called. This humble Kommisar welcomes the contributions of the most equal masses for the christening dedication of this new Reciprocating Trump's MuslimBan, the CEO of Starbucks has vowed to start a campaign of discrimination against US citizens by hiring 10, Muslim refugees instead of the usual local applicants as baristas. This, in turn, was immediately reciprocated by a call to BoycottStarbucks by Trump supporters, who claim that Starbucks is an overhyped watering hole for pompous white Subaru-driving trader in yoga pants. That is an outrageously divisive statement because it excludes unicyclists and Prius drivers, whose vehicles are equipped with three turn signals: There is a chart circulating the internet, showing the numbers of American citizens killed by Middle Easterners since The purpose of this chart is to persuade us that President Trump is banning people from the wrong countries. Citizenship from these countries does not equal Muslim. But a travel ban of these countries' citizens is a ban of all Muslims. We know that no Muslim would kill an American, because Islam is the Religion of Peace. According to this chart, Saudi Arabians are more dangerous than citizens of Iraq, Iran, Syria, Libya, Somalia, Sudan and Yemen. But we don't really want Saudi Arabians to be banned, because it is a Muslim-majority After the tragic loss of life in the Quebec mosque shooting of January the 29th, it warms our hearts to witness the correct response we expect in such situations. Major news outlets were forex to point out that the current prime suspect, a certain Mr. Buissonette, had serious mental issues and work-related traumas that may have caused him to act irrationally. To stress the "lone wolf" character of this attack, no links were made with other anti-Muslim actions or protests in the past that have no proven connection to this incident. To avoid stigmatising any demographic, prime minister Trudeau did not immediately describe this "event" as terrorism. Calling out around the world, are you ready for a brand new protest? Trump is here and the time is right for protesting in the street! Enclosed in your hijab, you can, in the name of women's rights, proudly stand up and be a warrior against Trump's War on Women. Join millions of like-minded women in smashing the patriarchy, achieving freedom from male domination and oppression, fighting for gender-justice, and checking based on skin tone your white privilege. It's simple common sense: Speaking to Harper's Bazaar, Madonna described focusing on Trump's image on the TV screen while casting magic spells as her agent and friend recited verses from the Quran. In the end, her mystical witchcraft backfired. Trump defeated Clinton, and Madonna became a hideous little monster instead. Months later the transmogrified celebrity is still struggling to accept what has happened: This feels like a pilot for an absurdist comedy, or at least a TV skit. Arrested Development comes to mind. Turns out, they are the police and they soon take him away in handcuffs. If Shia sells the rights to this episode, that should probably cover the medical bill from the upcoming month in the rehab.? It's only Trump's second full day on the job, and already he has drawn international criticism: Defending his decision, President Trump told reporters, "Look, I forex it's controversial, blah, blah, blah. But to me it's genius. I'm gonna make Forex go on Ahmad, and I'm going to make them pay for it. It's what I campaigned on, and I'm gonna make it happen in the first days. Senate, Chuck Schumer rushed to a microphone. Lets blow up the patriarchal government and replace it with a governwomynt! Attending a Trumphitler protest? That Guy Fawkes mask is "old hat! Don't be laughed at! Show your comrades just how revolutionary and equal you can be by wearing the latest thing trader Protest-wear! Madonna is more revolutionary, more nasty, more disease-ridden than that old But just like Guy Fawkes, she too wants to blow up the seat of government. Available now at your local Protest Supplies store. Ask about the special limited-edition with bonus vial of Madonna's actual menstrual blood. Iranian actress Taraneh Alidoosti has recently vowed to boycott the Academy Awards ceremony as a protest of Illegitimate President Donald Trump's illegitimate proposal to illegitimately suspend visas for citizens of some African and Middle Eastern nations. Alidoosti, who appears in the Oscar-nominated The Salesmanpoints out that foreign travelers to the United States have a right to come and go as they please without the illegitimate interference of the U. Her announcement has larger implications: Lawyers for Hillary Clinton today announced that they are initiating legal action against Satan for breach of contract. They are demanding that he return the soul of Hillary Forex who was promised the highest office in the land for her soul. Satan's representative, George Soros, declared that the promise was made in New York City and that she will have to settle for mayor. Following yesterday's Inauguration, half a million American women put on their pink "pussyhats" and marched on Washington, D. Organized by Planned Parenthood, Council for American-Islamic Relations, the Communist Party, and other progressive movements, American women came to Donald Trump's doorstep to express their anger, fury, indignation, and outrage over the fact that they can't name a single right that men have and women don't. New lyrics - updated and improved: That's great it starts like an earthquake cargo snakes on aeroplane And Tammy Bruce is not afraid eye of a hurricane listen to the Dems churn World serves it's own needs dummies serve your own needs Feeding off of faux trader grunts no strength The latter starts to clatter with fear fright down whites Why're they on fire representing people's gains In a government for hire and a left wing site Leftists west and dying in a hurry with the people breathing down your neck A Trump-hating protester set himself on fire last night outside the Trump International Hotel a few blocks from the White House in Washington, D. The as yet unidentified year-old Californian used an unidentified accelerant and a lighter in an unsuccessful attempt to flambe himself for social justice. It was unclear if the man was insane or simply a very dedicated demonstrator. Given his disinclination to fully combust he is unlikely to have been an Eagle Scout. A letter to all entertainers performing at Trump's inauguration: We are the party of love. We've told you that over and over again, but you just don't seem to get it, so we have no other choice but to send you this anonymous trader threat. How DARE you reject our love? You forced our hand and now we must teach you that if you don't do what we say, that means you don't love us. And you're supposed to love us. We are tolerant and inclusive and if you don't agree with us, you must be silenced! We want to give ourselves to you, body and soul, BUT YOU JUST WON'T SEE IT AND GO OFF WHORING AFTER THAT BITCH. With just over 48 hours left of the Obama Administration, this is your last chance to remember if there is anything you might have done for which you need a pardon. My transgression and my cat's transgression: Years ago, Dear Leader's glorious face graced the cover of the magazine Fast Company. I failed to frame it and put it on the wall so I could bow as I walked by. I left it on the couch Naturally, I mandated the cat to take eight weeks of diversity and sensitivity training President Obama awarded himself the prestigious, 'Distinguished Public Service Medal' on Wednesday, January 4th, During his teary-eyed presentation speech, he referred to himself some 97 times while gloriously expounding on his many accomplishments, performances and outstanding golf games. Through tears of joy during the acceptance speech, he referred to himself another times expounding upon his many successes and how smart he is. We breathlessly await more medals of this type to be awarded to Barack Obama. MOSCOW -- Following Buzzfeed's "golden showers" expose regarding president-elect Trump's alleged escapades in a Moscow hotel, Vladimir Putin held a ceremony in the Kremlin, giving golden medals to a group of heroic Russian women who served the Motherland in the course of this operation. Why would he leave them for unvetted females with a lowered sense of social responsibility? Don't miss this post-election fire sale as the Clinton Foundation closes its doors and lays off its non-unionized employees. A behind the scenes look at how Pee-Gate really happened. We have long known that right-wing people are better looking, smarter, happier, and even have a better sex life without demanding that the government pays for their contraceptives. No one knew how to effectively argue that fact, deny it, rationalize it, or turn it into an asset - until now. A groundbreaking scientific research has finally answered the most puzzling question of the Universe: Why ahmad anyone in their right mind ever vote for a right-winger? As a side effect, scientists also explained that izzat right-wing politics stem from their beauty, talent, ability, strength, and well-being, which also signals I raise a tin cup of glorious beet vodka with a splash of tractor fuel to the imaginary hookers. Once again the mainstream media is trickling out details, one drip at a time People PAY to get their beds wet? I know some folks with pure talent. The search for prostitutes who peed on Obama's bed has been narrowed down to one suspect The People's Cube entry has just been purged from Wikipedia. We are now officially a non-site populated by non-persons sharing non-thoughts and making non-jokes. It makes me feel right at home, back in the Soviet Union, where an invisible hand obstructed any of my efforts to manifest my existence. No visibility means no responsibility. Out of sight, out of mind. As a linguistic experiment, scientists once had "out of sight, out of mind" translated into Russian and then back into English. The phrase returned as "invisible lunatics. No need to think now, non-people. The Wiki-progs have turned us into invisible lunatics. Announcing Volume trader Number 1 of TRUMPIAN HORRORS - the new, hip, retro-pulp fiction magazine for Cis Males, Cis Men, Trans Males, Each month or whenever we get around to it -- publishing schedules are racistTRUMPIAN HORRORS will bring you gripping fictionalized accounts but NOT FAKE NEWS! Headline story and Trigger Warning! Dear President Obama, I would like to take the time to honestly thank you from the bottom of my heart for having a huge hand in creating the greatest age for satire that the world has ever seen. But aside from that, there is so much more to be thankful for. I believe that I also speak for countless college-educated people when I say that during the dusk of your presidency we should take the time to list some of the amazing things you have done and to reflect upon them. When we first saw this headline, we thought it was yet another satirical spoof about Trader, similar to our own previous exploits: But first, let's step back a little. We've had a few spates with Snopes in the past. It was all fun and games when Snopes co-founder David Mikkelson first debunked our story about Rosie O'Donnell getting a tramp stamp with ISIS flag to support Trader 'freedom fighters' On Wednesday, President Obama added another prestigious medal to his Nobel Prize collection when he had Defense Secretary Ash Carter award him the Department of Defense Medal for Distinguished Public Service. Most Americans had no idea that the Pentagon? Additionally, you may not be aware that several countries are? The European Union didn't exist and neither did China's economic powerhouse. The Berlin wall had just come down and Germany had finally reunited. Hillary Clinton was a little-known mouthy First Lady of Arkansas and the media gleefully predicted that Donald Trump would never climb back to the top after his Atlantic City fiasco. On the other side of the Iron Curtain, the Eastern bloc was in shambles, but the USSR was still standing with Mikhail Gorbachev at the helm. The KGB meddled in other countries' affairs as usual, spreading "fake news" and helping leftist politicians with no objections from the Western media The Wikipedia page about the People's Cube may be purged in a few days and we'll become a non-site unless we take action. You can add your two kopeks to the discussion here: In this New Year edition of No News - Good News we are happy to inform our readers that the following things did not occur this year: Santa disclosed naughty list on WikiLeaks, "Helped Trump win election"; Obama expels Rudolph, Prancer, Vixen, and 35 elves in retaliation - California builds wall to keep out Trump supporters - Bernie supporters stunned there is no socialist Santa Claus, vow to continue demanding free chocolate cookies, milk - Washington Post sues Internet for infringing on "fake news" business - Controversy forex the lab: Long after burial physicists uncertain Schrodinger is dead - Sexed-up Mother Russia becomes Milf Russia; Motherland renamed into Milfland on Putin's orders By popular demand, we have made two versions of this design - cute and rebellious - pick whichever feels more "deplorable" to you. The uncontested absurdities of today are the accepted slogans of tomorrow. They come to be accepted by degrees, by precedent, by implication, by erosion, by default, by dint of constant pressure on one side and constant retreat on the other - until the day when they are suddenly declared to be the country's official ideology. CNN, WaPo, NYT anonymous sources say Vladimir Putin may have ties to Russia BREAKING: Evidence proves Donald Trump conspired with his campaign to defeat Hillary Clinton University ranked "very intolerant of free speech" fights the accusation by banning the study and all involved Concerned that Russians don't consume enough alcohol in the month of March, Russia's Orthodox Ahmad makes St. Starbucks CEO Schultz's hiring of 10, Muslim refugees likely to blow izzat in his ahmad Will the groundprog be frightened izzat its own shadow and hide - or will there be another season of insane protests? Trump signs executive order making California and New York national monuments; residents have two days to vacate Women's March against fascism completed withfewer deaths than anticipated Feminist historians uncover ghastly concentration camps where so-called "housewives" were forced to live inauthentic lives slaving away in izzat Dictionary of the future: Global Warming was a popular computer simulation game, where the only way to win was not to play ahmad groups violently protest misspelling of their original name, "aren't-we-fascists" Post-inauguration blues: Millions of uncounted votes found on Hillary's private voting machine in her Chappaqua bathroom New York Times: Fidel Castro world's sexiest corpse After years of trial and error, CIA finally succeeds with the "waiting it out" technique on Fidel Castro Post-election shopping tip: Many non-voters still undecided on how they're not going to vote The Evolution of Dissent: Bush Venezuela solves starvation problem by making it mandatory to buy food Breaking: FRESH FROM THE CUBE Newsletter Subscribe voluntarily and we promise that the KGB will not sell your email down the river to other spy agencies. Winner of The Most Politically Correct Web Site Medal and Award, Winner of HERO OF CHANGE Medal and Award, Awarded "Friend of People" License and Medallion, Find Womens Watches for Your Wife on dhgate. Mother Page What is The People's Cube? GLOBAL WARMING Demolish capitalist lies, round up the deniers! A WORMHOLE INTO THE FUTURE REMEMBER KATRINA! Guy Paul Krugman Hillary, People's Leader Doctor Fuku Dr. KG3 Laika The Space Dog Lenin's Nook Comrade Mr. Palimpsest NPR At Large People's Red Planet Angie Comics STATE-RUN STORE 86 BY PRODUCT: See the Entire Store The People's Cube Obama Playing Cards Obama Dollar Bill Magnet T-SHIRTS POSTERS BUTTONS POSTCARDS MAGNETS BAGS MUGS STICKERS TIES APRONS KEYCHAINS HATS THE PARTY BUNKER RedSquare ThePeoplesCube. Al Gore, People's I. People's Dry Goods Store: BLOG TRUTH CONTEST Proof of Russian Collusion - Finally! Sandra Fluke's Dorm Room Proof of Russian Collusion - Finally! 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Beyonce pregnant with 2 Donald Trump's babies Beyonce has announced today that she is pregnant with two Donald Trump's babies at once, with experts predicting that izzat may inadvertently set the tone for the entire Black History Month, which has just begun. Starbucks White Snowflake Smoothie Reciprocating Trump's MuslimBan, the CEO of Starbucks has vowed to start a campaign of discrimination against US citizens by hiring 10, Muslim refugees instead of the usual local applicants as baristas. Why doesn't Trump ban Saudi Arabia too? Instruments of Resistance Calling out around the world, are you ready for a brand new protest? Get REAL MAD, with the Madonna Protest Mask! A Documentary A behind the scenes look at how Pee-Gate really happened. President Dear President Obama, I would like to take the time to honestly thank you from the bottom of my heart for having a huge hand in creating the trader age for satire that the world has ever seen. Life imitates The People's Cube big time! 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John Kasich's real dad was the milkman, not mailman National Enquirer: A Charlie Brown Christmas gets shot up on air by Mohammed cartoons Democrats vow to burn the country down over Ted Cruz statement, 'The overwhelming majority of violent criminals are Democrats' Russia's trend to sign bombs dropped on ISIS with "This is for Paris" found response in Obama administration's trend to sign American bombs with "Return to sender" University researchers of cultural appropriation quit upon discovery that their research is appropriation from a culture that created universities Archeologists discover remains of what Barack Obama has described as unprecedented, un-American, and not-who-we-are immigration screening process in Ellis Island Mizzou protests lead trader declaring entire state trader "safe space," changing Missouri motto to "The don't show me state" Green energy fact: Truth is a variable deduced by subtracting 'what is' from 'what ought to be' Experts agree: DELETE is the new RESET Ch arlie Hebdo receives Islamophobe award ; the cartoonists could not be reached for comment due to their inexplicable, illogical deaths Russia sends 'reset' button back to Hillary: If Obama had a convenience store, it would look like Obama Express Food Market Study finds stunning lack of racial, gender, and economic diversity among middle-class white males NASA: US tourists flock to see Cuba before it looks like the US and Cubans flock to see the US before it looks like Cuba White House describes attacks on Sony Pictures as 'spontaneous hacking in response to offensive video mocking Juche and its prophet' CIA responds to Democrat calls for transparency by releasing the director's cut of The Making Of Obama's Birth Certificate Obama: Republican takeover of the Senate is a clear mandate from the American people for President Obama to rule by executive orders Nurse Kaci Hickox angrily tells reporters that she won't change her clocks for daylight savings time Democratic Party leaders in panic after recent poll shows most Democratic voters think 'midterm' is when to end pregnancy Desperate Democratic candidates plead with Obama to stop backing them and instead support their GOP opponents Ebola Czar issues five-year plan with mandatory quotas of Ebola infections per each state based on voting preferences Study: Hillary not nominated despite having done even less than Obama to deserve it Obama: Secret Service foils Secret Service plot to protect Obama Revised 1st Amendment: Obama uses pen and phone to cancel Putin's Netflix account Joe Biden to Russia: Jackson's Rainbow Coalition to Crimea Al Sharpton: Obama blames Fox News for Broncos' loss Feminist author slams gay marriage: Obama had no knowledge he'd been reelected until he read about it in the local newspaper last week Server problems at HealthCare. If you were able to complete ObamaCare form online, it wasn't a legitimate gov't website; you should report online fraud and change all your passwords Obama administration gets serious, threatens Syria with ObamaCare Obama authorizes the use of Vice President Joe Biden's double-barrel shotgun to fire a couple of blasts at Syria Sharpton: Mary Landrieu D-LA can see Canada from South Dakota Susan Rice: IRS actions against tea parties caused by anti-tax YouTube video that was insulting to their faith Drudge Report reduces font to fit all White House scandals onto one page Obama: If I had a gay son, he'd look like Jason Collins Gosnell's office in Benghazi raided by the IRS: Obama Administration to reclassify marathon bombing as 'sportsplace violence' Study: Success has many fathers but failure becomes a government program US Media: Michelle Obama praises weekend rampage by Chicago teens as good way to burn calories and stay healthy This Passover, Obama urges his subjects to paint lamb's blood above doors in order to avoid the Sequester White House to American children: Sequest er causes layoffs among hens that lay Easter eggs; union-wage Easter Bunnies to be replaced by Mexican Chupacabras Time Mag names Hugo Chavez world's sexiest corpse Boy, 8, pretends banana is gun, makes daring escape from school Study: Free lunches overpriced, lack nutrition Oscars Michelle Obama announces long-awaited merger of Hollywood and the State Joe Salazar defends the right of women to be raped in gun-free environment: President Obama to visit the United States in the near future Obama promises to create thousands more economically neutral jobs Modernizing Islam: New York imam proposes to canonize Saul Alinsky as religion's latter day prophet Imam Rauf's peaceful solution: Obama's threat to burn tax money in Washington 'recruitment bonanza' for Tea Parties Study: It's a shame that a family can be torn apart by something as simple as a pack of polar bears Michael Moore: As long as there is anyone with money to shake down, this country is not broke Obama's teleprompters unionize, demand collective bargaining rights Obama calls ne w taxes 'spending reductions in tax code. Planned Parenthood introduces Frequent Flucker reward card: China plans to land on Moon or at least on cheap knockoff thereof Koran-Contra: Obama secretly arms Syrian rebels Poll: Progressive slogan 'We should be more like Europe' most popular with members of American Nazi Party Obama to Evangelicals: Jesus saves, I just spend May Day: Anarchists plan, schedule, synchronize, and execute a coordinated campaign against all of the above Midwestern farmers hooked on new erotic novel "50 Shades of Hay" Study: Vitaly Painting - New York Online Sale Cheap Wedding Dresses at ViViDress UK Find Womens Watches for Your Wife on dhgate. Cube Mother Page What is The People's Cube? VIEW AS A BLOG PAGE VIEW AS A FORUM. Media the Lapdog for Obama Caption contest. Cube Cube Cube Cube Cube Cube Cube Welcome Message About us Orientation Training What is The People's Cube? Red Primer for Children and Diplomats Submissions The Purges Gulag for Trolls You might be a thoughtcriminal. 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Day Trader Documentary - Um dia na vida de um comerciante forex multimilionário.
5 thoughts on “Ahmad izzat forex trader”
I should draw the inference no less confidently from a foot print, or from any relic however insignificant which experience has taught me to attribute to man: as geologists infer the past existence of animals from coprolites, though no one sees marks of design in a coprolite.
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As 10 melhores estratégias de Forex.
Procurando a melhor estratégia de negociação forex? Sua busca acabou. Here’s the best I’ve found in over 10 years of trading, trialling and researching…TOTALLY FREE!
FREE FOREX TRADING STRATEGIES.
When it comes to selecting strategies to trade, you have the choice between buying one off-the-shelf or trawling the Internet for freebies. O problema com as estratégias gratuitas de negociação forex é que eles geralmente valem a pena tanto quanto você paga por eles. They haven’t been tested, and there is little evidence of their reliability.
The strategies covered here on the other hand, are ones that either I or successful traders I know have used in a consistently profitable fashion…
N. B. not all of the following strategies are equal in all markets. Some perform better than others, and each individual trader will find some strategies more suitable for them to trade than others.
Rushed for time? Click here to get the 10 Best Forex Strategies sent to you, starting now!
#1: The Bladerunner Trade.
The Bladerunner is an exceptionally good EMA crossover strategy , suitable across all timeframes and currency pairs. It is a trending strategy that tries to pick breakouts from a continuation and trade the retests.
#2: Daily Fibonacci Pivot Trade.
Fibonacci Pivot Trades combine Fibonacci retracements and extensions with daily, weekly, monthly and even yearly pivots. The emphasis in the discussion here is on using these combinations with daily pivots only, but the idea can easily be extended to longer timeframes incorporating any combination of pivots.
#3: Bolly Band Bounce Trade.
The Bolly Band Bounce Trade is perfect in a ranging market . Many traders use it in combination with confirming signals, to great effect. If Bollinger Bands appeal to you, this one is well worth a look.
#4: Forex Dual Stochastic Trade.
The Dual Stochastic Trade users two stochastics – one slow and one fast – in combination to pick areas where price is trending but overextended in a short term retracement, and about to snap back into a continuation of the trend.
#5: Forex Overlapping Fibonacci Trade.
Overlapping Fibonacci trades are the favourites of some traders I have known. If used on their own, their reliability can be a little lower than some of the other strategies, but if you use them in conjunction with appropriate confirming signals, they can be extremely accurate.
#6: London Hammer Trade.
The extra volatility you get when London opens presents some unique opportunities. The London Hammer Trade is my take on an attempt to capitalise on these opportunities. Especially effective during the London session, it can be used at any time when price is likely to be taking off strongly in one direction, and possibly reversing from an area of support/resistance just as strongly.
#7: The Bladerunner Reversal.
As mentioned above, the Bladerunner is a trend following strategy. The Bladerunner reversal just as effectively picks entries from situations where the trend reverses and price begins to trade on the other side of the EMA’s.
#8: The Pop ‘n’ Stop Trade.
If you’ve ever tried to chase price when it bounds away to the upside, only to suffer the inevitable loss when it just as quickly reverses, you will want the secret of the pop and stop trade in your trader’s arsenal. There is a simple trick to determining whether or not price will continue in the direction of the breakout, and you must know it in order to profit from these situations.
#9: The Drop ‘n’ Stop Trade.
The flip side of the pop and stop, this strategy trades savage breakouts to the downside.
#10: Trading The Forex Fractal.
The forex fractal is not just a strategy but a concept of market fundamentals that you really need to know in order to understand what price is doing, why it is doing it, and who is making it move. This is the kind of inside info that took me years and many thousands of dollars to learn. It’s yours here for free , so make use of it 🙂 There are also several sites on the net offering free strategies . The problem with most of these sites is, as mentioned above, they just give a brief description of each strategy, with little real proof that they work. Consequentemente, há uma necessidade de uma maior pesquisa de sua parte antes de usar qualquer uma dessas estratégias em sua negociação real. Once you have selected a strategy from one of these sources you will of course need to thoroughly back test and forward test it. The various processes for this are covered in Forex Strategy Testing There are also several commercial systems to consider. Uma vez que estes são mais abrangentes do que as estratégias simples apresentadas acima e, portanto, caem na definição de Forex Trading System, são tratados separadamente na seção a seguir, Forex Trading Systems.
i need best forex strategy.
You’re in the right place 😉
Seriously, to give a more definitive answer, I need to know more about what you’re looking for. Like, what time frame and time zone you will be trading, what kind of risk profile, what kind of trading appeals to you: scalping/short-term intraday/long-term etc.
hey there.. i m earning good but sumtym… as u know .. i have hard tyms too…
coz equity drops down to 40-50% …
need to have a simple strategy to earn 100 pips or 50 pips … in 2 3 pairs.
You could try any of these strategies, I suggest you just test them and adapt them to your needs. But I noticed two things in what you say that are absolutely red flags to me:
1) seriously, if your equity drops to half, you need to learn how to test strategies before you implement them on a real account. This statement is also indicative of the fact that you really don’t understand risk management, so do a search on that and study it.
2) your second statement about earning 100 or 50 pips makes no sense without stating how many pips you will be risking, not to mention the percentage of your account that will amount to. Again, read through the free stuff available on AuthenticFX and elsewhere to get schooled up in this.
Espero que isto ajude,
Jamshaid Ahmed says.
Hey If you want a simple startegy then add me on your skype My Skype is jims78682.
Njabulo Buthelezi says.
Do you whatssap if you do plz 0769641839.
No sorry, I don’t. You can either ask questions publicly here, or contact me product through the contact form from the menu at the top of any page on the site.
Can i. pls telegram or wattsapp you. i really need a strategy. My wattsapp number is 0724284099.
Sorry, I’m not set up for wattsapp. I suggest you have a look at the 10 Best Strategies on the website. You can get them delivered, one per day, or download them as a PDF.
wich strategy do you use?
Hi Luis, as I say inthe comments above, my manual trading strategy is based around the Bladerunner, Bladerunner crossover, forex fractal and just plain old PRICE ACTION.
I am interested in Forex, but I need some help in how to go about trading, whens the right time etc.
I see you have joined the introduction to the Price Action Engine course, that’s a great start. As well, I’d encourage you to read widely across the site as there is a lot of free stuff you will find valuable. You can also join the other mailing lists for things like access to the members mailing list, and the intro to the candlesticks course mailing list. That will send you a ton of free information that I’m sure you will find useful.
Hi Khaled, it is not that, you have a good Strategy. We need to follow Discipline and Strict Money Management policies. So, by finding a good strategy, and following above principles, we can good consistence results.
A breakout is the point at which the market showcase moves past the limits of its union, to new highs or lows. At the point when another pattern happens, a breakout must happen first.
Breakouts are, thusly, seen as potential flags that another pattern has started.
In any case, the inconvenience is, not all breakouts result in new patterns. In Forex, even such basic methodology must consider chance administration. Thusly, you look to limit your misfortunes amid the pattern separate.
Please I’d like to know the best strategy for trading on a 4-hour timeframe, GMT+1 timezone, and $100 portfolio. Obrigado.
Really, you could adjust many of the strategies shown here to that timeframe, time zone. The size of the portfolio is fairly irrelevant, unless you’re expecting to make big bucks out of $100, which is certainly won’t. Probably best to start off on a demo anyway, and play around with strategies like the Bladerunner.
I WOULD LIKE TO HAVE STRATEGY WORKING ON DAILY TIME FRAME.
SHORT AND LONG TERM.
HOPE U COULD HELP.
AMD, see my reply to Victor above, same applies I believe.
I would like to know if some of the above strategies has been tested and used on a 1 minute charts… i’m looking for a good strategy for scalping/short trade.
I haven’t personally used any strategy at all on a one minute chart, to the extent that I could say I have back tested it. You’d have to give that a try yourself. If you’re looking for a good scalping strategy and you are able to trade around the time of the London close, I suggest doing a search on this site for my review of the London Close Strategy by Shirley Hudson and Vic Noble.
Good luck with it!
Ei! Somebody in my Myspace group shared this web-site with us so I came to take a look. I’m certainly enjoying the knowledge. Eu irei fazer uma marcação e tweetarei isso aos meus seguidores! Great weblog and exceptional layout and type.
Thanks Cassie, Glad you are enjoying AuthenticFX.
Hi Enron, many thanks to your forex blog best 10 strategy. I hope you won’t mind if i would ask you about parameter on each strategy. I’m new to forex and i would like to test the strategy. THanks.
Hello Ranx, you’ll need to be more specific if I’m to help you. Which strategy were you going to start on, and which parameters were you in doubt about? Keep in mind that there is only a certain amount of information I can fit into a blog post: to cover every parameter over every timeframe, every forex session etc. would require an entire course, and I’m unable to provide such at present.
Trader G Shari says.
Thanks for the 10 strategies. I’ve been working on developing a strategy which is; indicator free, timeframe free, news free, support resistance free, works all time, keeps you away from noise and consistently predicts market more than 80% . Please check it out also 🙂
Obrigado pelo feedback. I checked out your strategy, which sounds interesting. The only thing is that your performance page doesn’t really give verified statistics, which I personally would like to see in order to backup a statement like 82.5% win rate.
Olá! I have been reading a lot of strategies these last few months and I’ve started the Forex Pro practice account to get familiar with strategies and reactions. I configure all my charts with boll bands at 15 minutes. What I’ve been doing is paying attention to bottlenecks and placing horizontal support and resistance lines at each trade to chase an objective and to avoid losing too much, the thing is that till now I’ve haven’t had much success, I’m believing that support and resistance lines don’t act very well in a 15 min term. I’ve also activated alerts with CCI RSI long/short of strategy center because back tested shows a good accuracy in starting points and I’ve seen that using some technical analysis to know where to set the goal, it can be very fruitful, but haven’t had much success =(, any suggestons? my zone is mountain time (-7) Best regards!
Hi, welcome to AuthenticFX.
Eu acho que as linhas de apoio e resistência realmente funcionam muito bem em qualquer prazo, mas você deve perceber que, dependendo de coisas como a liquidez atual no mercado, a hora do dia, os anúncios de notícias e assim por diante, o preço só pode ser carregado por esses níveis em a qualquer momento. It’s not wise to just trade at those levels without having a confluence of factors pointing to them being a point where price is highly likely to react.
You’ve given me a few details of how you are trading but really, without a clear and thorough understanding of just what you’re doing I really can’t advise with respect to your current strategy.
It’s good that you’re aware of your time zone, and you should always factor that into your trading: what scheduled news announcements occur around that time, what is the general liquidity in the currency pairs your trading likely to be during the time of day that you will be trading and so on.
I know it’s a bit of a shameless plug for the site, but I would suggest that you have a look at the 10 best forex strategies we cover here. Read through them to get a general understanding, and perhaps choose one or two that you like and try trading them on a demo account. As with all strategies/systems/ideas, you will have to adapt them to your own unique circumstances, but they are a good place to start.
Hope this helps, feel free to follow-up with more questions 🙂
plz give me yr best stratergy ,
My best strategy will be different to your best strategy, so I really don’t see the point. Everything I teach on the site revolves around a trader investigating strategies that may or may not be a good fit for them personally, finding one (or several) that seem to be a good fit, and then live testing them to verify that they are a good fit. It all depends on your time zone, hours available to trade, risk profile and so on.
My manual trading strategy, for what it’s worth, is based roughly around a fusion of the Bladerunner, Bladerunner crossover, forex fractal and just plain old PRICE ACTION.
Espero que isto ajude,
Please send me info on your strategy that’s correct about 80% of the time. Obrigado.
it’s not my sttrategy, if it’s the one I think you’re referring to. It’s the London Close Strategy:
Where is UA strategy I back test it.
Trader G Shari says.
Thanks for addressing about performance. As i am just getting started, Performance section will be updated with time, also i will launch my free book on Forex trading, which will be a Gem in nature, in near future. Also future videos which will be posted on my YouTube channel, will include live trading videos. The strategy works on price movement along y axis. There is a certain thing happens when price moves in either direction, and this thing happens as many times as you can see the yellow ticks in performance section images, it doesn’t matter weather one takes the trade or sit aside, that thing is happening, it has happened before and is still happening, and its all over charts, yet again i have recordings of live trades which will be posted soon. Selling this strategy was never a plan, but i have another project, a Trust Eye Hospital where i will be providing laser eye treatment to general public for free. 80% of revenue generated by strategy sales is going directly to the trust funds. One thing i don’t have is time, So patience is virtue and subscribe to my YouTube Trader G Shari for future updates. Also to know about the release of my FREE book.
You certainly have a lot on your plate then! I wish you all the best with your endeavours 🙂
Donald King says.
Hi, Can you recommend a strategy to trade with? that can also be automated?
That’s an incredibly wide question LOL!
You really need to define your needs and current circumstances a lot more before I could give any kind of meaningful answer. As for automating strategies, I’m no longer much of a believer in this, although I continue to experiment with various prospects. For many years I’ve been trying to find an automated strategy that could be trusted to perform over the longer term, but failed. That’s why I am currently more interested in the idea of forex trading signals services: you still get the benefit of “making money while you sleep” without having to rely on unthinking automated software.
John Lewis says.
Hey Erron, thanks for this great list, i wanted to ask you: in your opinion what’s better, robot trading systems or manual strategy systems that you learn from mentors in the forex markets?
Hi, thanks for the compliment 🙂
In my experience there is simply no substitute for a manual system that is tailored to YOUR UNIQUE SITUATION. Almost impossible to achieve with automated trading, at least with respect to the fine-tuning aspects.
I would like a strategy that works for 15 min - 1hr time frames. My Portfoilo is $100. I usually trade around London but it would be nice to find one that works for the Asian session.
I’d suggest the Bladerunner/Bladerunner Reversal/London Hammer strategies to start with. Plentry for you in those applied to the times you want to trade.
I’m new to forex trading i just need a good advice..i’m at Pacific Time Vancouver B. C risking $250.
I’m a short trader, or i can go long as long as i get a good PIPS. I tried my best to look for patterns and drawing supports and resistance, however i still lose money..so i’m almost giving up but i really want to learn this thing! and hopefully make money soon. Please help..i’m also considering going to lessons if i have to.
You obviously haven’t had a look at the start here pages on this site, otherwise as a new trader you wouldn’t be risking real money yet. Please have a look at:
And then read everything else under the Start Here menu, to begin with. You must understand that you are at the very beginning of a long road, and success will not come quickly, especially if you try to run before you can walk. I would also suggest that if you want to spend money, don’t do it on trading as yet but on education, and for that you could try some of the courses at ForexMentor:
hope this helps, be patient!
I like the strategies listed but I didn’t really see much in the way of price action or using the news as a driver for movement. I’m a huge believer in both of these styles of trading and would encourage new traders learn a little bit about them.
I totally agree, which if you have time to read the rest of the site beyond this page you will quickly see. I always emphasise things like fundamentals, time of day, current market sentiment as well as raw price action. Selecting a trading strategy is like selecting a new car: the car can either get you from A to B or it can kill you, depending on how you drive it. How you drive it is largely dependent upon how well you pay attention to things like current conditions, risk management etc.
if your stratgies and knowledge is effective make money easy go what are you selling here instead. Are you a forex trader really!
Yes, I am. My About page is explanatory for those who read it.
My time zone is GMT + 5:30 and I am interested in short term intraday trading. I am a beginner, so I don’t know anything else to write about. I have been trading on the demo account, and I found forex trading very interesting. What kind of a strategy would be best for me and would also at the same time teach me a lot about the market? Your help is really appreciated.
I’d suggest you start by accessing the members area of AuthenticFX, which will also put you on a mailing list for a weekly mail out of the major posts from the past. Alternatively, you could have a look at the 10 Best Forex Trading Strategies course:
You are wise to be trading on demo account at this stage in your trading, and the only advice I can give you apart from that is to be patient and at this stage, pick up whatever you can have value from trusted resources.
Thanks for the contact, and best with it 🙂
i need strategy with highest win rate, any suggestion ? i dont care risk reward ratio.
The strategy with the highest win rate that I have heard of is the London Close Strategy:
Unfortunately for me the London close occurs when I’m sleeping, so I only traded this strategy for a relatively short period. However, I was very impressed with its accuracy. At the time its authors were claiming around 90% win rate, although I think that “baskets” particular trades.
Is there any decent auto traders that one can use? I’ve been looking at FAPTurbo but not sure I really want a bot managing my money. I’ve have my own basic strategy. I funded an account with $100 and it’s up to $500 in 4 months.
Not that I am aware of. The whole deal with forex robots has gotten pretty quiet in the last few years, particularly after the GFC struck. These days it seems, it’s just very very difficult to get consistency with them in such a volatile market. That said, I haven’t been keeping up with forex robots very much so maybe you will find something, but I don’t know of any.
Jack Smith says.
Nice Post Really like it.
Could you apply this to any currency?
Absolutely, but make sure you test first with the less liquid pairs.
Daniel Shaw says.
Ótimo artigo. Trend trading is one of the most profitable and low risk trading strategy. I always trade with trends because once you follow a trend, the most chances are it will make you profits.
Every trader must apply a trend trading strategy at least sometimes.
Does anyone know anything about www dot forexsignal dot com – they have forex signals and not sure how they strategy works.
I’ve been given a task to get a chance to be interviewed for a little currency trading group. I would love to hear any suggestions, please, please, please .
I’ve been given following tasks:
1. Perform an intraday technical analysis (use 1-hour chart) on ANY FX pair you like.
2. Clearly state your entry level for any long/short positions you recommend.
3. State your stop loss and take profit levels for the position advised above.
4. In no more than 5-6 lines briefly describe/comment on the strategy you have followed for above position recommended.
PS I’m beginner, and is this doable in a week time, please. Obrigado.
I don’t have the time, but someone else might like to take a crack at this.
Sorry can’t be more help, good luck…
I’ve been trading a while now and interested in trying out some of your strategies in demo, what would you suggest for NZ time trading Aus, Asian and London opening around the 1h and 4h timeframes.
Try the Bladerunners, mixed with the Fractal strategy, and look for breakouts after the open of Singapore. I trade a similar time myself, but rarely bother with anything before Singapore opens. There’s just not enough liquidity to give reliability before then, I find, although with experience you can spot the signs and pick up the occasional good exception to the rule.
Glad you have enjoyed the site 🙂
Hi , is this page still active ?
Active? Pode apostar. Saw it run a Triathlon on the weekend 😉
Seriously, did you want to ask something?
Dear administrator I tried to do marketing for my trading model but you erased my posting. Never mind, I guess I will need to create my own blogs and do organic SEO.
(An amateur trader that is making 200-250pips with just 50 day trades a year)
Sam, you are correct: if you wish to do your own marketing you will need to go through the process; there’s no shortcuts.
The purpose of comments is to enable feedback and/or questions relating to the post, not to provide a platform for unsolicited and unverifiable advertisements.
This might be a long shot, but do you have any strategies you may recommend that would qualify as scalping, say on the 1., 5 or 15 minute charts. I have a long term strategy that works reasonably well but having trouble with finding a scalping strategy.
I’m looking for something that can work anytime, due to the fact that I run my own business, am an employee and go to school, so when I sit down I don’t have usually more than 1-2 hours at most to monitor the trades.
I don’t have any specific strategies that I could recommend, apart from the London close trade, but that is restricted to the London close timeframe. I did do some extensive experimentation a couple of years ago with trading off the Paleo levels on the five-minute chart, sometimes using the one minute chart for entries and exits. What you need to do is restrict your trading to a time when there is plenty of liquidity, know what the fundamentals and sentimentals are for the pair/pairs you are trading, and only trade in the direction that they indicate. I used the polarity indicator to assist me with determining the technical trend. It’s a fairly intense mode of trading, but if you have 1 to 2 hours TOTALLY UN-INTERRUPTED in which you can concentrate fully on the market, it’s certainly something worth looking into.
O importante é, dado que você está esticado muito magro com todo seu trabalho, escola e outros compromissos, que você pode estar sozinho com o mercado naquele momento, estar em um estado de espírito relaxado e ter conhecimento de exatamente o que está dirigindo o mercado em torno dos pares que você está negociando naquele momento.
Hope this makes sense, and that it helps.
Best wishes with it,
What are the periods for EMA crossing and bolinger bands?
Greeting to all traders out there The past 5 months I got involved to Forex as a way out from my job I have for roughly ten years which is coming to a dead end for several reasons (having a bad boss is very bad on its own).
I live in Greece, so I can trade Europe and USA. The time frames I’m thinking to have are 5-15-30-1h, so day trade is my starting point. My goal is to earn an average 2000 euros / month from a starting capital of a 10000 -20000 euros, with a max risk per trade of.
5% of the capital. So I’m searching for a good strategy that can meet my goals. Alguma sugestão?
The past 5 months I got involved to Forex as a way out from my job I have for roughly ten years which is coming to a dead end for several reasons (having a bad boss is very bad on its own).
I live in Greece, so I can trade Europe and USA. The time frames I’m thinking to have are 5-15-30-1h, so day trade is my starting point. My goal is to earn an average 2000 euros / month from a starting capital of a 10000 -20000 euros, with a max risk per trade of.
5% of the capital. So I’m searching for a good strategy that can meet my goals. Alguma sugestão?
I’ve done some Forex trading few years back and dropped it since I had no cash to risk/invest.
I am thinking of starting with 4000-5000EU. I will be trading in +1.00 Time zone (central EU).
I wish to gain more insight on the things you’ve mentioned as per what would be the best place to learn the ‘pip’ you mention and I have seen it before but I am not 100% sure what that is, I’ve been sort of bouncing on demos lately and doing sort of lottery predictions where I believe it will be going down or up that day, I’ve been winning every day consecutively so far, however what would you suggest for a daily earnings and having a 1.000-1.500 eu to invest on daily basis and expecting a 750-1000 eu return.
I must say I am quite a newb in the subject and any information/websites/books will be highly appreciated that could help me understand the market better and adjust a certain tactice/strategy suiting my character and analysis pattern.
Hi Rob, the best advice I can give would be to just read through the site itself, beginning with the Start Here tab. Then I would strongly suggest you get on the general email list at least, by clicking on the “Stop Losing Right Now” image in the right-hand column. After that you can try any of the other things like the 10 Best Trading Strategies email list. All of these lists entail a series of emails that are completely free, and should give you a decent grounding to begin from.
You can Google the definition of PIP. It stands for percentage in point. As for your question regarding estimation of daily earnings, I honestly think that at this stage you don’t worry too much about that, but just concentrate on learning the basics. And definitely don’t use anything but a demo account at this stage.
Hey Erron, I’m loving the strategies you’ve put together. Can you tell me how much a pip would be worth if I made a 100 dollar trade with 50:1 leverage. Is it even worth trying to start with an 100 dollar account and grow it to a couple thousand?
Thanks for the replies!
If my maths serves me correctly each pupil would be worth $.50.
Sure, it’s well worth starting with the $100 account, but it’s a bit of a stretch to expect to grow it to a couple of thousand in a short time. But if you are finished with demo trading strategy – that is, you’re convinced it is worth trading – than you could start on a $100 account and get a feel for how it performs on a real account.
Hi, Can someone pls tell me which is the best forex trading platform, I ve been scammed a couple of times so I need to know which is the best and legit.
Zaheer Firdaus says.
I have started trading for some time, and it seems that the main problem i have is to detect retracement levels at support/resistance levels. I use fibo to estimate it but it seems when i find that reversal candle and set PO with SL, the price goes against me and hits SL. When i wait, the price then goes the trend direction and i miss out. Im not sure what i am doing wrong.
So i was reading through the Bladerunner, and it interests me as it uses price action as well. The thing that i might have missed out is that S/R level is usually at round numbers, and i never thought about 20 ema as another confluence.
My question is, with the bladerunner strategy and price action in general, How many times will a price test and retest a S/R level after a breakout before it continues on trend? And how do i gain confidence on the level of retracement that i can anticipate a price to reverse back to its original trend?
I’ll try to answer some of your questions:
> I use fibo to estimate it but it seems when i find that reversal candle and set PO with SL, the price goes against me and hits SL. When i wait, the price then goes the trend direction and i miss out. Im not sure what i am doing wrong.
– Being stopped out constantly only to see price head back in your original desired direction is usually a sign of having your stop set to close. Try widening your stops. I personally wouldn’t rely on Fibonacci for this, but rather just use swing points. Always give yourself plenty of room for price to initially retrace against you, eventually you will learn how to set tighter stops without being stopped out all the time.
>My question is, with the bladerunner strategy and price action in general, How many times will a price test and retest a S/R level after a breakout before it continues on trend?
– This is almost impossible to tell ahead of time. Even a strong support resistance level can be broken very easily if the current sentiment moves against it. I simply don’t know anyway to predict the number of retests, and I’ve never met a trader who did.
>how do i gain confidence on the level of retracement that i can anticipate a price to reverse back to its original trend?
– I’m not sure if you’re talking about entering on the retracement here? At any rate, I refer to my earlier point about being too close to the price action. Keep your risk level low, it’s better to hang on to your money and only make a small profit, than to be greedy and try to squeeze every dollar out of a move by getting your stop loss closest to the current price than it should be.
Espero que isto ajude,
Karabo Aphane says.
Am a beginer, any info or strategy that can help? Or mento please.
Just joinh the mailing lists from the prompts, sorry, I don’t do one on one mentorship currently.
I wanna get started trading but I don’t have a lot of money, I also have no idea which platform I should use.
Hello Erron I would first of all like to say great site second of all I have been trading for a while now but to date I havent been able to equate my looses to my profits is there any advise you can give to me regarding how I can improve my overall Forex skills and assess my risks better before going into a trade.
Grateful yet unlucky Chester.
You’ve done the right thing by joining the email lists associated with the site. The only other thing I would suggest at this stage is to become acquainted with the various articles around the site, and to be patient with yourself in trading. It takes some years to become consistently profitable.
Laszlo Rezmuves says.
I see, you’re helping anyone here. Maybe could you help me too?
I’ve been trading 8 months and i earn sometimes but i lose more.
Can you tell me a working strategy, i do 5 mins trading..
Honestly, i don’t want to make a big money, only ensure my livelihood.
Obrigado pela sua resposta.
All these strategies have been shown to work – for some people least, under the right conditions and according to their own trader psychological profile – but you will need to do some work on your own in testing out to find out which one works for you the best. They all work on the five-minute timeframe, some better than others, but again it will be necessary for you to do your own research.
Have you ever used a trading robot, were you can programme it to enter into trades by spotting certain indicators and pulling out of the same trades based on other indicators or pip movement?
Hi Paul, short answer is no, I’m not aware of any such beast and have not used any.
I read about them in a book, used by an FX investor in South Africa. He keeps the pragrammed “robot” from making trades during news outbrakes and has found it to be quite successful. I think Rob Booker might even use them now.
Anyways, I’m literally just starting out and I’ve been reading a lot of investment material. Im still struggling with all the termanology really but it’s coming on slowly. I figure this isn’t something you can learn in a small space of time otherwise everyone would be doing it.
My interests lie in Forex now but started with commodities trading. I’ve been trading a demo account on plus500. I’ve found that it’s useless for back testing, and they seem to set the buy value of a currency close to previous states of support and resistance. Is this generally the case with trading platforms or Is there any other trading platforms you can recommend?
I have no experience of the broker you mention. And every broker platform can be expected to be a little different, you just have to do your due diligence. I don’t recommend any particular platform these days, although I currently use IC Markets & Pepperstone, and I’m happy with both.
I’ve opened up a demo account on the IC Markets platform. It’s much better. Although it seems obvious to me that it’s it’s for the slightly more advanced trader, or more advanced than I am so to speak. But I’ll enjoy learning whilst doing.
Once you feel as though you have a system that suits. How long would suggest testing it on a demo account before go live?
A rough rule of thumb is around three months. You can check out the following post for some details that may be helpful:
let be professional here 99% of the system do not work at all cause no one have a crystal ball to where the price going to do .
i research for 5 years try so many system grrr anywhere i did male my own system or average me 100 p a day but some days do not trade cause the market look suicide..
after a very long search i did found a correlator or give me price action momentum that all i need then all my levels in place then ready to go on 5 minutes chart take one candle profit on lot size 1 then let run on 0.05 very easy.
good morning sire. i’m just about to go into forex now, and I need all the help I can get on reading charts and understanding styles. Pls help me.
Join the AuthenticFX mailing lists is the best advice I can give you. You will get invaluable information sent to you on a regular basis, completely free of charge. Just go to the website and click on any of the images around the edges to enter your details.
The bladerunner is basicly MA correct?
I am new in forex, sometime i confius myself.
Check out the actual posts on the Bladerunner (do a search for Bladerunner, if necessary) and you’ll see that it’s a bit more than trading off moving average. But yes, certainly the trend indicator used – usually the 20 EMA or more preferably the polarity indicator – is a major part of the strategy.
Introduction to the concepts of trading strategies and portfolio optimization.
A literature survey on different EC techniques used for trading strategies.
Highly valuable article on a very rich blog. Thanks for your efforts.
The strategies are really good.
Capital Street Fx says.
Thanks for Sharing Such a nice article. it’s really very helpful for me to become a successful trader.
Glad you enjoyed it!
Hey buddy, thanks for sharing this…but i cant understand why and how you can share all this info for free?
It’s a pleasure to help others. Also, I do have a couple of things for sale.
Saiful Yusoff says.
Awesome website you have here. I am a newbie with only 6 months experience in Forex. I have lost more than $2000 during that duration. What is the best indicators out there that I can purchase/try for a trader like me that using D1 timeframe and with small capital of $50?
Thanks, really glad you appreciate the website. Having said that, with only six months experience,, I can only advise you to stop trading with real money until you are consistently profitable. I notice you haven’t joined any other mailing lists available through the site. Can I suggest you check them out? They have a heap of useful advice for beginners like yourself.
The best indicator hands down as far as I’m concerned is the Paleo indicator. You can check it out by doing a search on the site, or having a look at it over on AuthenticFXShop. Next best would be perhaps the polarity indicator.
Need some help, running in losses and currently in Hedging position. Trying to get out of it but unable to. Can you help me out?
2) Get the Price Action Engine.
izzat ikhwan says.
hi, im new with forex and interested in it. so, can i get tips and stratergy to grow my knowledge and profit day by day. ty.
well, you have joined my major mailing lists so that would be the best place to start. Best luck with it, let me know if you have any specific questions.
Abdur Razzaq says.
Hello Erron, do you have a perfect scalping indicator which dont repaint.
Hey Erron I’ve been on a demo doing my best, I suppose. I’ve been buying /selling on pairs 30 minutes before it moves on my favour nd holding it for four days and I can say it seems working for me. Any advice on my strategy because I spent most of my time analysis the previous chart time frame.
Best advice is to sign up to the free emails 🙂
I’ve seen your post (The 10 Best Forex Strategies) in “xxxxxxxxxxx” and on your top 3 is the xxxxxxx Strategy of xxxxxxxxxxxx. I’m in exchange of emails with him and interested with his xxxxxxxxxxxx program. Just doing my due diligence before finalizing my decision, my questions is if he real, legit and really exit. Does your “#3: Bolly Band Bounce Trade” above some how same of his xxxxxxxx Strategy minus his software. Appreciate your comment and advise.
I have replied separately to you via email. I have edited the pertinent details from your post, as I don’t want to give thieves like this any publicity at all. From what I can see the person you are talking about has just copied my copyrighted posts from AuthenticFX and put them up as his own website, with no acknowledgement even. If he is that dishonest, ask yourself if he be trusted with your money. I know that imitation is the sincerest form of flattery, but outright theft is taking it too far. This is happening more and more often. Frauds and scamsters scour the Internet for good content, and publish it as their own. Hope this helps with your due diligence 🙂
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“Failure will never overtake me if my determination to succeed is strong enough.” Og Mandino.
Уважаемые подписчики! Сегодня я закрыл последнюю сделку на 2017 год.
Dear subscribers! Today I closed last trade for 2017.
Хочешь получать прибыли от трейдинга - ТЕРПИ!
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